James The Very (Un)Successful Matchmaker!
by HelloI'mOz
Summary: Sirius loves Remus and Remus loves Sirius back. It's perfect. Except for that little flaw in the system when neither wants to tell. It looks like their whole relationship depends on James. RLSB SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: This is a slash fic which means two people of the same gender. That is, if I was correctly informed it does. So don't read if you don't support being gay or think it's "unnatural". Also, please don't flame because of the two men. Be accepting. Thank you. **

**Prologue**

The marauders were sitting in the common room enjoying the food James and Sirius had smuggled from the kitchen. Well, more like asked the elves in the kitchen for politely. Those elves really are fond of James.

The common room was empty seeing as it was midnight and classes were tomorrow. Remus was the first to finish what he'd been eating (chocolate, of course) and therefore decided he would go up to bed. He told the others of this and Peter joined him.

Sirius downed the rest of his fire whiskey and joined the line of sixth year boys heading up to the dormitories. James was just finishing up when he heard a voice.

"Psst! James!" The voice whispered. This startled James greatly as the common room was seemingly empty.

"Who and where are you?" James asked. The voice couldn't blame him for the slight tremble in his voice when he spoke, it would have startled the voice too.

"I'm Oz and I'm in a different world. In a world full of muffles with no magical people where we write of people like yourself to entertain." The voice explained. No wizards or magical folk of any kind?! That sounds terrible!

"I'm sorry for you." James said.

"As am I .

Suddenly James realized he was speaking to a random voice going by the name of Oz. The voice should have an excuse for startling him. And a very good one as no one startles James.

"Why are you talking to me?" James said.

"I need your help. I would do it myself but you see, I can't control anything in your world." The voice replied.

"What do you need my help with?" James said excitedly. He's always up for a challenge.

"Sirius and Remus are in love but refuse to admit it to each other. I need you to set them up." "Oz" said. James was very puzzled at hearing this.

"Of course they weren't in love!" James thought, then realized Oz might be right. It sure would explain why they stare at each other when they think no one is looking. And how they always give each other the look James gives Lily.

"How did I not realize this before!" James shouted.

"Hush! You'll wake up all of Gryffindor shouting that loud!" Oz said, only to be ignored by the now determined James.

"I swear on my love for Lily that I will get those two together! No matter how many elaborate plans I have to make! No matter how long it takes! No matter how many hearts it breaks! I'm calling it Operation Poony!" James shouts.

A certain red headed prefect comes out in her pajama shorts and tank top.

"Shut it, Potter! You've waken everybody up! Stop shouting about whatever the h**l you're shouting about!" Lily Evans screamed. James blushed a little.

"Sorry Lilykins!" James shouted back. Lily was far too tired to hex Potter at the moment so instead she made a mental note to do it first thing tomorrow morning.

Once Lily left, James started whispering.

"I promise I will! I won't let you down random voice in the common room!" James then ran upstairs to get some sleep for the next day. It was going to be a very important day, after all, it was phase one of Operation Poony.

* * *

**Hello! This is my first fic for the Harry Potter fandom ever! Reviews are greatly appreciated! I'm not writing this for reviews though, I'm writing this because I love this slash and I wanted to try a RLSB fic out. **

**I like to think of my readers as family so I should probably introduce myself. Hello, I'm Oz! I enjoy writing and this is the fifth fanfiction that I want to continue with so I'm not deleting it. I have started writing many more fanfics than just the ones I'm keeping, but most were deleted for pretty good reasons. Some because they were awful most because I couldn't handle as many stories as I had up at once, and a few were accidentally deleted. I have three Divergent fics up, so if you've read that series go check them out! Even if you haven't all except for Worth It don't have any spoilers, just the characters. **

**Well, thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoy it! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

The next morning James awoke earlier than the other three boys in his dormitory. James had yet to complete his plan. He only had two things decided about it so far: That it would involve Ms. Evans (Her and Remus were friends, so she'd definitely want to help. Plus James would get to spend time with her.) and that it would end with Remus and Sirius as a couple.

James pulled out the piece of parchment on which he was writing the plan. It had the same spell where you have to say the code as the Marauders Map, so unwanted eyes don't see the plan.

"Let Operation Poony commence!" James whispered. He panicked for a second when Remus rolled over. Then he realized that Remus, as well as the rest of his dorm mates, was asleep. Or so he thought.

"James! What're you doing?" An overly excited voice asked. Of course. Peter.

"Oh, um, nothing?" James said while "causally" leaning over the piece of parchment.

"You're lying. What're you leaning on?" Maybe they should give Peter a little more credit. Nah. James is just a terrible liar.

James sighed in defeat. He stood up to show Peter the parchment. Peters eyes scanned over the parchment. It didn't take him too long considering there were only to full sentences.

"Poony? Moony and-" James shushed Peter quickly. He didn't want the two to overhear.

"Yes. I'm guessing that now I'm going to have to let you help?" James said in what could only be described as disappointment. He was hoping it would just be him and Lily.

"Yup." Peter said in a gleeful tone. He was finally going to help with something important! Well, important for the marauders.

_- Time Skip - _

Remus woke up only to realize that, for once on a blue moon (Ah, Remus puns.), he wasn't the first to wake up. He was the third, seeing as neither James nor Peter was in their beds. Sirius, however, was still sleeping.

"He probably would be for the next fifteen minutes," Remus thought. Remus always watched Sirius sleep. Not in a creepy, stalker way, but in a loving way. He loved how peaceful and quiet Sirius was.

"The only thing that could make it better," Remus thought, "was if I was with him." (AN: Please don't take that in a dirty way. That was as innocent as sharing a bed with your best friend. Well, you know, if you and your best friend liked one another that way.)

Okay, so maybe Remus sort of had a teensy, weensy, HUGE crush on Sirius. But he would never tell Sirius. Oh no, of course not. Remus' self esteem was already low enough without being rejected by the guy of his dreams. That would not only break his heart, but his friendship with the marauders as well.

Remus could picture exactly how it would happen. Remus would tell Sirius he liked him, Sirius would be freaked out that Remus likes guys (more specifically, him) and would James who would take Sirius' side and Peter, who'll do anything James does, will join them. Remus would be kicked out of the marauders and left practically friendless. The only friend Remus has outside of the marauders is Lily, and she's sure to fall for James one of these days.

Remus would be friendless and alone. He always knew he'd never make it in life due to his "time of the month" anyways. He always thought that maybe some friends would help a little. That's why he agreed to join the marauders in the first place.

_- Flashback -_

Remus had just been sorted into Gryffindor, the house that Dumbledore was in. Remus was very happy about this because, even as an 11 year old, Remus knew that he most likely wouldn't have gone to school if Dumbledore wasn't so kind.

He followed the Gryffindor prefect up to the dormitories. He found his stuff in First Year Dormitory A, along with three other boys. These boys were already chatting and laughing with each other. Remus pulled out a book and read quietly on his bed. His mother said to try and stay unnoticed and fly under the radar. Put studies first.

Unfortunately for Remus (or possibly fortunately, depending on how you look at it), one of the boys noticed Remus in his bed. The boy, who had long, shaggy, black hair whispered his discovery to the other two. They decided to sneak up on their roommate and scare him. This became the first of the marauders many pranks and plans.

The three boys were relatively quiet and might not have been discovered if it weren't for Remus' werewolf hearing. Remus could hear floorboards creaking softly and feet pattering against the wooden floor. He assumed they were trying to sneak up on him and decided he should act. Remus hid behind one of the curtains that would hide him from their view. That is if they were coming form where he thought they were.

Sure enough, the three boys pulled aside the red draping a to find no one. Though they would never admit it, they were pretty freaked out.

Suddenly a boy popped out of seemingly no where and yelled boo. The other boys screamed so loud that people in the common room could hear them. Remus started cracking up as well as the boy with the shaggy hair. The other two looked very mad though.

"I'm Sirius! This is James and Peter!" The boy with the shaggy hair said as he extended his hand. Remus shook it.

"I'm Remus."

_- Back To The Present -_

Then again, maybe it'd be good to not have friends. His mom always disliked the marauders, and she only wishes the best for Remus. Right? Hopefully. It'd really suck if Remus had no friends, no family, and was a werewolf. How Sirius lives knowing his whole family hates him is beyond Remus.

"How did this whole mental 'conversation' end back at Sirius?" Remus wondered. Speaking of Sirius, Padfoot bounded up to Remus' bed. Remus was lost in thout and didn't notice the big black dog until it landed on hi and started licking his face. Remus chuckled a little. The dogs tongue brushed the boys mouth but it didn't occur to Remus that his crush just kissed him. It would have made things a lot simpler if it did.

Sirius stopped licking and transformed back into his usual, human self. He,quickly pinned Remus down. Remus grinned at the unspoken challenge. Now he might be short and sort of scrawny looking, but he was a werewolf. Remus easily flipped Sirius over and suddenly to positions were reversed.

"It seems that the tables are turned," Remus said.

"Everything isn't always as it seems," replied Sirius. Remus raised an eyebrow quizzically before there was no longer a boy beneath him but a dog. The dog easily slipped out of the small boys grasp and crawled beneath him. Remus was stuck on top of the dog. Sirius then changed back. Remus fell with an "oof".

James walked in on the two in a pile on Remus' bed.

"You two lovebirds might want to get ready. We do have classes today." James said without realizing he called the pair lovebirds. Remus blushed profusely and jumped away from Sirius. Sirius grinned in a nervous way.

"Oh shut up James, you great, big prat!" Sirius said while throwing a pillow at the so called prat.

"Where would you get the idea that Sirius and I like each other?" Remus asked in a shocked manner. Sirius felt a little hope dissolve as those words tumbled out of Remus' mouth.

James looked between the two. He grinned. He started laughing really hard. So hard that he clutched his stomach, fell on the ground, and then proceeded to roll while laughing.

Remus and Sirius were horrified that James knew about their secret crush. Both quickly recovered and remembered their seemingly mad friend who looked was having a spasm of laughing.

"I think he's cracking up," said Sirius.

"I think you're right," Remus agreed.

After about a minute more of this James stood up and stopped laughing.

"What were we talking about?" he asked.

"How Remus and I definitely don't like each other that way." Sirius responded. Remus wanted to smack Sirius for bringing the subject back up. James nodded. A pregnant silence ensued.

"Sirius, may I talk to you privately?" James asked. This was the first step to the plan Peter and he devised. While James confronted Sirius, the rat (there is simply no nice way to phrase that) would talk to Remus.

The werewolf left the room leaving James and Sirius.

"What is it Prongs?" Sirius asked nervously. James was his best friend, he knew that this had something to do with what they were discussing.

"Padfoot, you're my best friend. You know you can tell me anything, right?" Sirius nodded.

"Do you like Moony?" James decided he should at least ask before accusing him of like their other best friend.

"Maybe..."

"Padfoot, I know you do. In fact, I think you love him." James stated boldly. Sirius, for the first time in his life, was at a loss for words.

"What?" Sirius finally sputtered out, "Was I that obvious?!"

"Um, sort of," his best friend responded. Sirius groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Moony's going to hate me!"

"Well..."

"Absolutely hate me!"

"Sirius if you jus-"

"He's never going to speak to me again!"

"SIRIUS! Calm down," James said, "You don't know if he likes you back or not."

"Yes I do! He's completely straight!" Sirius whined.

"Which is exactly why he came out as bi last year," said James, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at this. Wouldn't he have noticed if his best friend and crush came out? Wait, wasn't that the day when Jim fell in the toilet? That's right! Remus was saying something!

"Don't tell me you don't remember?" The other boy asked.

"Yeah I do. It's the day you fell in the loo," James smacked his head with his hand at this.

"That's how your remember it? You big idiot! No wonder you and Remus aren't together yet!" Sirius snapped out of his giggly mood as soon as this came out of his friends mouth.

"Can we stop this bloody interrogation already?" Sirius said, turning suddenly cold. James, realizing he messed up, just let the other boy leave.

"Well, that was a bit of a failure," said the last boy in the dormitories to absolutely no one.

* * *

**Yay! I'm back! Sorry, this week I spent a lot of time at the pool and then there was youtube... Yup. That's literally the story of my life. "Sorry, I meant to but fanfiction. And then there's youtube." I then get up and walk away. the next chapter is about how you never see me again because I'm a victim of the internees addictiveness. There needs to be rehab for the internet. **

**I like this story a lot so far and I'm having a lot of fun writing it, I hope you guys enjoy reading it! So yeah, thats it. I think...**

**Yup! Bye! :)**


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